Hello again!

Hello again..

I started this blog back in 2009 as a requirement for one my classes in college. I got the hang of it and continued blogging for the next few years - each year, less and less. But this year, 2016, I've intentionally been on break from blogging because I lost my purpose on writing. One day, I thought to myself: why write? No one's reading it anyway (or very few) plus just wasting away my time with 9gag, youtube and instagram is way easier. I mean 9gag sucks 90% of my pre-sleeping time. I almost always falls asleep with my phone in hand because of it. It's easy, funny and uncomplicated. And it cures my insomnia too! What a win! But, lately, I've been reading some of my previous posts and I felt the need to write to remind myself how embarrassingly silly I was or how happy, sad or weird I felt. Nevermind if no one reads my posts, MY FUTURE SELF WILL READ IT!

So as I step out of 2016 (as we all will), I vow to write more often about my life, my feelings, my thoughts, dreams and adventures no matter how shallow they may seem or may be.

Leaving behind 2016 and all the things that needs to be left in this chapter.

I welcome 2017 with so much hope and so much gratefulness in my heart. ❤️

Bring it on! 

Just Keep Swimming

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.

— Henry Ford

The hardest battle a person has to make is to battle against himself. No other entity is more powerful than yourself. Quarter life crisis is really, reaaally a pain. I have been struggling with myself for so long. Thinking and analyzing things through. I have to say that it has been a really difficult time for me. But my faith has been pulling me through. I am still struggling with my life direction but it gets better everyday. I do get to notice the small miracles God is giving me. But while I'm still waiting for the BIG Breakthrough, I will just keep swimming. 

Aren't We All?

I don't know what is it with me that some people tend to pass judgement without really getting to know me. Is it because of the way I talk? Is it the way I deliver what I say? My choice of words? Is it the way I walk? My resting bitch face? I know that we really can't please everybody, but am I just too awful to be around? I really, really try to be as thoughtful, careful and reserved as I can be, but I am just naturally loud, carefree and I guess, a little obnoxious.

In Deed

God is very powerful.

I've seen Him work in a lot of people. Some of them are really far from being close to God and yet in a great twist of events, they knew God. 

I found a deeper relationship with God sometime late last year. And from then on, I had an on and off relationship with Him. That is the thing I want to change- losing time for church for worldly commitments. 

Aside from that, I find it still find it hard to "love" and forgive people who have offended, hurt, insulted me in any way even with the knowledge that all of God's commandments comes down to "Love". Love one another. Love even the unloveable, difficult to love, offenders, and bad people. 

The Lord has manifested his great love for me for so many times and I feel guilty whenever I miss become too busy (or lazy). 

I'm praying for a stronger relationship with God. I want my family and kids to grow in a God-driven environment. 

I am claiming it! 

🙏

The Dilemma of the Pessimist Perfectionist

They say life kicks you so that you'll learn and be a better person. But what if life kicks you hard, repeatedly, and in the ass?... Will you learn the lesson?

I think, it depends. It's a case to case basis. Hoho.

Christmas Rush / How to Shop with Ease in Manila

I know that I speak for everyone when I say that the few weeks before Christmas is the most exhausting days of our lives!

Not everyday is a good day

Not everyday is a good day...

What's Inside My Bag

I thought I had frozen shoulder just because my shoulder is so painful but turns out it is all because I have a really heavy bag. O_o

the evolution of a woman part 2!

The first blog entry about my self-obsessed pictures are here.

But one night, Rob & I had the time and energy to rummage through old photo albums and he got the chance to tease me about my Camille Pratts days, the forever bangs.

My baby pictures look a lot like... Yeye. :)

Kuya Mark, Ama, Angkong and me
Legit doe-eyed chinese baby girl

the evolution of a woman. chos!

And now, a run down memory lane.

That's how I used to roll. haha

the pains of being a woman

AHHHHHHHH!

The pain of being a woman!!! I've been enduring stupid cramps for days now. And does not get any better by the day. Argh! This is just too much. 

And because I am a woman, I am allowed to rant and complain this time of the month!! 



FUCKKK!! Fuck this pain. 

Women are being constantly subjected to various kinds of pain - physical, emotional, psychological, even spritual! And yet we are considered inferior to men?! I don't think so. 

HERE ARE SOME OF OUR PAINS:

your secret

THIS IS THE LAST TIME THAT I AM GIVING YOU THE TIME OF THE DAY.

She believed she could so she did

I finally graduated from college!

The glorious day of finally walking up the stage and receiving a "diploma" has happened. It was especially touching for me cause I never got to march on stage for my high school graduation.

And wearing my black toga in the Plenary Hall of the Philippine International Convention Center, I was able to make my parents proud as hell.

They were able to witness their first-born, their daughter finish college in the prestigious De La Salle University-Manila without paying a single cent for my tuition and fees. Of course this wouldn't be possible without the former Dean of the College of Education, Dr. Roberto T. Borromeo and the Vice Dean, Dr. Rochelle Irene G. Lucas aaaand the director of SFA, Ms. Severina Kikuchi. They saw the potential in me and my life will be changed forever because of them.

Lord, thank You for making me see why certain painful things happened in my life. It is all because You wanted to bring me to this day, to that moment when I can say to myself that Your plans are indeed better. Your grace and love is enormous and it is enough to pull me through.

I am indeed blessed! 

Here's to the Last Centennial Graduates of De La Salle University!

And here's to all those people out there who thought that the light will never come. I was once there but I was determined to succeed. :)

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."

                  

Joanna Joyce O. Ang, 10941444

Animo Lasalle! ✯

you can only take so much

I haven't been able to blog lately cause I went back to school already and there is so much catching up to do.

I'm ecstatic of how my professors and also the admin is giving me consideration. :) Thank you. I will definitely pay it forward. Ü


I had my retreat last Feb 04-05 in Mornese Center of Spirituality, Calamba , Laguna (where my friends mocked me on how I pronounce Calamba). They pronounce it like really fast and I pronounce it like how you usually pronounce English words. haha.

Anyway, the point of a retreat is to communicate with God or at least be away from everything else so you could think things through.

And I did that! I prayed really hard as I was really going through a lot of emotional turmoil.

But I didn't quite have any definite, concrete solution after that. I didn't arrive at anything. I was exactly in the same place where I was.

I was feeling hopeless and depressed.

But I just held on, thinking that it gets better by the day..

It doesn't.

But I had to believe that the sun will shine again one day.

Hope is the only thing that would keep me from taking a leap from the 21st floor of Andrew building.

Trust me, I am in the most unlikely situation right now.

Every aspect of my life is tragically falling apart but I am holding on and hoping for a brighter tomorrow because I know that this too shall pass.

Now, I feel better.

watch this

Inspiring video

some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money...

Truth is... some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money..

I know that my blog isn't famous or what and I don't care. I just want to write whatever I want, whenever I want. That's why it is called MY blog. 

So, I don't get why some people still gives so much attention to point out negative stuffs about my blog. 

Please make yourself your own blog or better yet, get a life! You, bitch.

I want to make ONE clear point so that you can shut your piehole and we can both move on.

This is my blog.

I don't get why you are so jealous that I have the nerve to write about stuffs..

I could write whatever I want. I could write about gorillas, for all you care. That is entirely none of your fucking business. :)

I don't care if you start your own blog. ooh wait. You did start your own.... but it's insanely dry and empty.

You must have thought of abandoning it the moment you finished signing up because you realized that you are intellectually incompetent to come up with anything to write.

Well, Fuck you.

You are alone and lonely. That two doesn't necessarily always go together. There are people who are alone but completely happy. But in your case, *scoffs*.

If you are so happy, then why the hell do you have the time to see what's wrong with me and even tell it to your "friends" ? 

You are pathetic. Just pathetic. 

I'm not rich. I don't even have a camera phone as of the moment cause I don't have the money to buy a new one since my blackberry died. 

But I am insanely happy and secured. I am perfectly in love with life, my family, my boyfriend and my children. How about you? 

One piece of advice:

Go buy your happiness and mind your own business. :)

Happy New Year, bitch. ♥

hello kangaroo

I'm on my seventh month and I suddenly felt really huge. I feel like I'm a kangaroo. :(

Here's why:

kangaroo with high school friends Eda, Jen and Jen's boyfriend, Monch

I'm that woman right there in Red looking like a kangaroo gone wild. huhuhu.

Thank you friends for being so supportive by telling me that I look normal. :)

I still think I resemble a kangaroo, though. Haha

when love and hate collide

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind

Instead of slamming down the phone baby, for the hundredth time

I got your number on my wall, but I ain't gonna make that call

When divided we stand baby, united we fall

Got the time got a chance gonna make it

Got my hands on your heart gonna take it

All I know I can't fight this flame

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind

Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby, time after time

Without you

One night alone Is like a year without you baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

Without you

Can't stop the hurt inside

When love and hate collide

I don't wanna fight no more, I don't know what we're fighting for

When we treat each other baby, like an act of war

I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise

When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes

There's a time and a place and a reason

And I know I got a love to believe in

All I know got to win this time

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind

Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby...Crazy...Crazy

Without you

One night alone

Is like a year without you baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

Without you

One night alone

Without youIs like a year without you baby

If you have a heart at all

I can't stop the hurt inside

When love and hate collide

my life without you

Picturing my life without you is scary. Seeing it like a movie is terrifying. :|

I had a weird dream last night. It was plain and simple, really. It showed my "future" I saw myself old, happy and married...to another man. When I woke up, I was really scared. I was unsure of how I felt. Imagine having your future ahead of you shown to you like some boring movie. It sucks. Maybe that's why God made the future unknown because it sucks to know what tomorrow brings. It's like being helpless, like surrendering to what is bound to happen. It's like playing a role in a drama. You only get to do what's written in the script. :( I hate how it feels. :( I wanted a life with you and only with you. :(

cause you're bound to do great things..

“In his pursuit of the dream, he was being constantly subjected to tests of his persistence and courage. So he could not be hasty, nor impatient. If he pushed forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs and omens left by God along his path.”

-The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I've been feeling emo and alone. :( I feel like a zombie. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's not. All I know that everything is falling apart. I just want keep moving forward so I can finally leave this phase. I want to believe that I am being tested just because I am bound to do great things. I'm holding on to that tiny grain of faith that somehow, it will all work out well. I remember picking out from a basket of "God's words" in our school chapel a few weeks ago and it says "GOD HAS CHOSEN YOU TO DO HIS WORK." And if all these are for the fulfillment of God's plan, then I have no right to complain. I just need to pray even harder and trust even more. God has chosen me and for that alone, I should be thankful.

blackberry failure

My phone died. I don't know how and why but it just did. I saw it lifeless, attached to it's charger and unresponsive since then. I'm very sad about it since I downloaded new themes for it and fonts and I'm the kind of person who gets really excited about these kinds of stuffs. :( I haven't had the chance to enjoy those new downloaded stuffs. Haay. And I found an online site where I could finally buy an angel case which I have been lusting for months already. It's such an irony to find it on a day when my blackberry died. Anyway. I'm just waiting for money from my father so I could bring my blackberry to someone who could fix it! huhu. I feel so disconnected to the world. save me!! :(