a letter to my bebes

My beloved babies,

Hi babies! I want both of you to know that I, mommy, loves you so much. I know that mommy wasn't exactly "ready" when you arrived. I thought I'll be ready the next time around but no, I still wasn't. I know that Mommy isn't and is never going to be the perfect parent to both of you but I promise to try my best to take care of you and give you the love you both deserve.

Kuya baby, I know that mommy owe you much more because I never get to really take care of you and be hands on. I know that you were confused and lonely but I want you to know that mommy did her best to make you feel loved and I am doing everything I need to do just so I can provide a better life and environment for you. Mommy is so proud of what you are becoming. I know you'll grow to be a good brave man. You always give mommy the strength to move on and the comfort of knowing that I would have one man that would love me no matter what.

Bebe bad girl, mommy owes you a lot as well. For one, you had to endure stress and all that because mommy cannot stop school even if you're already here. I commend you for being strong. I know that mommy cannot provide much right now for you and your future is still very much uncertain but I assure you that I would do all that I can to make sure that you would have everything you need. I know that you are just like me - strong and brave. I promise you that Kuya baby will be there to protect you and you will always be our bebe princess. :* We are waiting for you and we are so excited!

My babies, mommy loves you so much. Mommy will make it up to both of you. :*

As what Cardinal Rosales has said in his homily during the feast day of the Immaculate Conception in Manila Cathedral, God has chosen mothers. Not all is chosen to be a mother. Therefore, I can say that I am indeed blessed because God has entrusted me, not with one but two little babies to take care of. Knowing that God has chosen me to do his work is enough to keep me going.

with all my love,
Mommy. ♥

this. now.

I love you and I probably always will. But we go on days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened. But it never seemed like you missed me and because of it, I stopped missing you.

David Beckham in Manila!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Who wouldn't swoon over this guy? A perfect guy who married the perfect girl and they're so perfect for each other. haha. :)

Anyway, Becks is here in Manila with the LA Galaxy team to do an exhibition match against Philippine's Azkals. I wish I could watch them play.. :( But I have to stay calm and rest as much as I could. So yeah. :(

arriving at NAIA

how handsome! (and yummy!)

Azkals and LA Galaxy

photo credit: Yahoo!

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2011

I just had to post a video of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2011.

TO DIE FOR. 

This kinda makes me feel like a speck of dust. :(( hahaha

They are angels, indeed. 

Enjoy! 

old yet improved! xoxo

Happy first of December!!! :)

Today, I did nothing but sit in front of my laptop and worked on improving my Tumblr and blogger. :)

For tumblr, I have made minimal changes.

• I added a twitter follow me widget
• changed the online hit counter 
• changed the online users
• fixed the auto-pagination 
• reblogged a loooot of pics (and queued them) haha

Thank you to the amazing tutorials around tumblr. tutorialsandmore & theamazingtutorials

For blogger, I made the following changes

• here, I also added the follow me button. to get this click here .
• made the signature from Photoshop and placed it as some sort of divider. :)

I added these twitter and tumblr widgets here in my blogger. 

To make one, click here. If you need any help, I would surely try and help you. :)

my life without you

Picturing my life without you is scary. Seeing it like a movie is terrifying. :|

I had a weird dream last night. It was plain and simple, really. It showed my "future" I saw myself old, happy and married...to another man. When I woke up, I was really scared. I was unsure of how I felt. Imagine having your future ahead of you shown to you like some boring movie. It sucks. Maybe that's why God made the future unknown because it sucks to know what tomorrow brings. It's like being helpless, like surrendering to what is bound to happen. It's like playing a role in a drama. You only get to do what's written in the script. :( I hate how it feels. :( I wanted a life with you and only with you. :(

cause you're bound to do great things..

“In his pursuit of the dream, he was being constantly subjected to tests of his persistence and courage. So he could not be hasty, nor impatient. If he pushed forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs and omens left by God along his path.”

-The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I've been feeling emo and alone. :( I feel like a zombie. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's not. All I know that everything is falling apart. I just want keep moving forward so I can finally leave this phase. I want to believe that I am being tested just because I am bound to do great things. I'm holding on to that tiny grain of faith that somehow, it will all work out well. I remember picking out from a basket of "God's words" in our school chapel a few weeks ago and it says "GOD HAS CHOSEN YOU TO DO HIS WORK." And if all these are for the fulfillment of God's plan, then I have no right to complain. I just need to pray even harder and trust even more. God has chosen me and for that alone, I should be thankful.