love is never easy.

It's been so long since we've been together. So long that we already lost track of how long it has been. We don't count how many years and months already.. All we know is that every 14th of the month, we celebrate our monthsary and we always fight whenever it's about to come. I know we never do that on purpose. I know how much we love each other. What I do not know is what the future holds for us. We've been together for so long yet we still are adjusting a lot of stuffs. There are things that we need to change. I don't want to be cheesy and all. I just want to let you know that I almost gave up this time and you know that. :| I'm sorry. If it wasn't for you making me realize that we need each other in our lives, maybe at this point in time, I would be curled in my bed, crying in silence and the pillow would be my only friend. Things get out of hand and words can hurt like hell. We've said things that we never meant and I would like to apologize for my carelessness. I doubted your feelings, your love but you've proven to me that you are standing by your promise that you will love me no matter what. People always comment about how mabait you are whenever they meet you. So that always makes me the evil one. Maybe most of the time I am but you know naman how much I love you and how hard I try to change my ways. I want to spend more seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years with you. And to do that, we should, ironically, have less time together for us to be able to achieve what we need to achieve. You will always be my inspiration, my partner, my critic, my savior, my love and everything else in between. I love you so much Rob! :) And on our monthsary, I'll let the world know how lucky I am to have you and to help them never lose hope that someday, someone out there would be the Robinson to their Jhay. ♥ Love is never easy. Love is a lot of hardwork and patience and compromise. Love is never giving up on your partner. I love you Rob. Thank you for not giving up on me this time. ♥ Always and Forever.

thank you for this!

always and forever.

how we spent our halloween

Yesterday, Jieshua got into an accident. I was sleeping up until noon when I heard frantic shouts. I was awakened and I rushed downstairs to see that my baby's lip and chin was filled with blood. I was scared but of course I cannot show my fear to my crying and panicking kid. I did what I had to. I washed his wounds to see if there was any missing tooth and to see where the wounds really are. When it was washed, I saw his lower lip is busted and his chin was scraped. Not only that! He also had scrapes in his left knee and a bump on his forehead. What a disaster!

He told me that he was running really fast and he looked at his back to see if his playmates are behind him. When he looked in front, he bumped into a rough wall, fell to the ground, stood up and went home crying while covering his severely bleeding lip.

it looks a lot scarier in real life!!

After doing the first aid for his wounds, I was practically bored all afternoon. Then night came, I was still bored. We didn't have anything planned so I took the camera and shot away!

here's a photo of me.

a photo of me and my injured little darling

goofy and fun! :)

a vampire or a butterfly? lol

Jieshua had no costume whatsoever. So he wore my butterfly wings. lol. He kinda looked like a vampire with his bloody lips but he has got butterfly wings. So that makes him ... a butterfly vampire? lol. 

I just wanted to eat spaghetti and so my mama cooked it for dinner. I ate dinner with my fragile little monster. I had to feed him the spaghetti with utmost care or else, I would end up hurting his lower lip wound.

I was ready to settle as a real couch potato in front of the tv when Rob came! Yey! He made me so happy! He said he feels mad seeing Jieshua's wounds. He talked to him about not being too malikot to avoid getting those kinds of injuries. :| This is the second time he's been severely hurt due to his activities. The first one was during the New Year's Eve this year. He got himself a deep cut on his chin. 

new year's eve wound

Anyway, here's Rob and I in love. ♥

I hope Jieshua gets better soon. I hope love will flourish. I hope we'll all have a great sweet November. Christmas is almost here!! Yay! 

my birthday this year

It's a really late post but since I have nothing else to do, I will tell about how I celebrated my birthday. :)

My actual birthday is on the 15th of September.

September 14

On the 14th, my mom asked me to go to Robinson's (the mall, not my boyfriend). We ate lunch.

the almost birthday girl.

my mom :)

me and my Rob.  monthsary day!

♥

me and my mom.

September 15
On my actual birthday, I was really really really busy and just had lunch with my school mates. We're the mean girls, I suppose. We ate at Tokyo Tokyo, where I always eat a lot of rice. nomnomnom.

meg, me, tin and han.

most takaw girls on the planet. :)

Rob came later that night along with his friends who wanted to greet me personally. Aww. Thanks. :)

He gave me this ...

reward for being such a good kid and not eating chocolate when it was bawal.

September 17-18
That weekend, we went swimming in Alabang.

(L-R) Alvin, Eda, Joseph, Charles, Rob, me and Han. 

close up moment

at ATC

at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf

Happy parin. :)

belated gift from Rob. ♥ 

:) :) :)

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20 questions

1 Were you named after anyone?

I was named Joanna Joyce. Jo came from my mom's name Jocelyn, Anna came from my paternal grandmother's Ana and Joyce was given by my father's sister. :)

2 Do you like your own handwriting?

Yes. Everyone says I write too big but I like it that way. HAHA

3 What would your superpower be if you could choose one?

The power to read people's mind. :) How great it would be to know what they are not telling you (or showing you).

4 Are you an Optimist or Pessimist?

Pessimist. I'd like to believe that Virgos are like that.

5 What do you collect?

I collect stuffs with sentimental value. It clutters my room. :(

6 What are your favorite smells?

I like the smell of the province. Trees and stuffs like that. :) 

7 Coffee or Tea?

Iced tea. :)

8 Wine or Beer?

Wine tastes better. :)

9 What is the best thing you've ever eaten? (Where?)

A looooot! I love food although I am frail-looking, I impossibly eat a lot when I like the food. 

10 Mac or PC?

I'd like to have a MAC but PC works well too. 

11 What are you listening to right now?

Classical Music. Bach, Beethoven, Pachebel. :) haha. 

12 What career would you pursue in another life?

I'd like to be a surfer. That would be really great! 

13 What sound or noise to you love?

Sound of babies laughing. They're so sweet.

14 What sound or noise do you hate?

Thunder. :( It's scary.

15 Mountains or Beach?

Beach!! But I also love the mountain. It's just that the beach is more charming to me.

16 Cook or Bake?

Cook. Although I'm still learning.. 

17 Do you go to restaurants and movies by yourself?

No. I hate the feeling of being alone. I always have to go with someone. If I would be alone, then I wouldn't bother. 

18 A Waitress spills a tray of food by your table. You are with a small group. What’s your first instinct?

Shriek! And then try to help her, maybe? 

19 What is your favorite fairy tale?

Pocahontas. It goes to show that differences are not a hindrance to love one another. 

20 What would you tell the 13 year old you?

That the world is bigger than what it seems and that great things are possible if you just believe and pray. :)

ihopeyouunderstand

..that this is what we need.
..that this is for both of us.
..that this is for you.
..that this is for me.
..that this might mean an end, but it would also be a beginning.
..that this is the farthest that I can get.
..that this is how I will show you that I do love you.
..that this is for us to grow.
..that this does not mean that I stopped loving you. 
..that this meant you and me having to deal and fix our lives separately.

It's an irony how we were able to surpass the chaotic, screaming, intensely emotional moments without breaking up and yet here we are, in the absence of chaos, jealousy, screams and drama, bidding goodbye to what we thought would be eternally ours. The great realization that people need to grow on their own especially if the other person isn't bringing out the best in you is what brought us here. We need to focus not only on the "us" but also in things and people that surround us. Acceptance is the key. And this is not easy for me. This would be hard as hell for me as it is for you but this is what would make us who we ought to be. I need to find myself. You need to find yourself too. Maybe in the process, who knows, we'll find each other again. But for now, It is you & me and not US. Just you and just me. The loving hasn't stopped and it will continuously go on - that I am certain. I love you, Rob. ♥ You will always have my heart.

blackberry failure

My phone died. I don't know how and why but it just did. I saw it lifeless, attached to it's charger and unresponsive since then. I'm very sad about it since I downloaded new themes for it and fonts and I'm the kind of person who gets really excited about these kinds of stuffs. :( I haven't had the chance to enjoy those new downloaded stuffs. Haay. And I found an online site where I could finally buy an angel case which I have been lusting for months already. It's such an irony to find it on a day when my blackberry died. Anyway. I'm just waiting for money from my father so I could bring my blackberry to someone who could fix it! huhu. I feel so disconnected to the world. save me!! :(

the end of the term & the start of a month

I've been away from blogging for so long that I didn't know blogger changed their look. :) I'd like to believe that I've been so busy with school and personal drama that I wasn't able to blog (or temporarily lost interest in it).
Tonight, I was able to harvest the fruits of my hardships.

This is an evidence that I, indeed was busy with school. :)

Tomorrow will be grade consultation day. I'm not sure if I wanted to go because I am already a Dean's lister with this grade and I don't think there has been any miscalculations with the grades.

Anyway, aside from school, I've been busy preparing myself for a lot of things. I've been planning a lot. Independence is one. I'm really of age, as it seems, to be on my own. The only problem is that one, I am still studying and two, I don't have a job, a stable job, that is. Oh the life of a girl like me! I don't know what it is with me. Why do I always want to push myself to the limits. It's not a bad thing but it's not always good. Me & my confused state of mind. Haha. I am off to sleep now. Maybe that's what I need. You can follow me on twitter cause I've been actively tweeting now ( http://twitter.com/jjoyceang ) xoxo. ♥