ihopeyouunderstand

..that this is what we need.
..that this is for both of us.
..that this is for you.
..that this is for me.
..that this might mean an end, but it would also be a beginning.
..that this is the farthest that I can get.
..that this is how I will show you that I do love you.
..that this is for us to grow.
..that this does not mean that I stopped loving you. 
..that this meant you and me having to deal and fix our lives separately.

It's an irony how we were able to surpass the chaotic, screaming, intensely emotional moments without breaking up and yet here we are, in the absence of chaos, jealousy, screams and drama, bidding goodbye to what we thought would be eternally ours. The great realization that people need to grow on their own especially if the other person isn't bringing out the best in you is what brought us here. We need to focus not only on the "us" but also in things and people that surround us. Acceptance is the key. And this is not easy for me. This would be hard as hell for me as it is for you but this is what would make us who we ought to be. I need to find myself. You need to find yourself too. Maybe in the process, who knows, we'll find each other again. But for now, It is you & me and not US. Just you and just me. The loving hasn't stopped and it will continuously go on - that I am certain. I love you, Rob. ♥ You will always have my heart.

blackberry failure

My phone died. I don't know how and why but it just did. I saw it lifeless, attached to it's charger and unresponsive since then. I'm very sad about it since I downloaded new themes for it and fonts and I'm the kind of person who gets really excited about these kinds of stuffs. :( I haven't had the chance to enjoy those new downloaded stuffs. Haay. And I found an online site where I could finally buy an angel case which I have been lusting for months already. It's such an irony to find it on a day when my blackberry died. Anyway. I'm just waiting for money from my father so I could bring my blackberry to someone who could fix it! huhu. I feel so disconnected to the world. save me!! :(

the end of the term & the start of a month

I've been away from blogging for so long that I didn't know blogger changed their look. :) I'd like to believe that I've been so busy with school and personal drama that I wasn't able to blog (or temporarily lost interest in it).
Tonight, I was able to harvest the fruits of my hardships.

This is an evidence that I, indeed was busy with school. :)

Tomorrow will be grade consultation day. I'm not sure if I wanted to go because I am already a Dean's lister with this grade and I don't think there has been any miscalculations with the grades.

Anyway, aside from school, I've been busy preparing myself for a lot of things. I've been planning a lot. Independence is one. I'm really of age, as it seems, to be on my own. The only problem is that one, I am still studying and two, I don't have a job, a stable job, that is. Oh the life of a girl like me! I don't know what it is with me. Why do I always want to push myself to the limits. It's not a bad thing but it's not always good. Me & my confused state of mind. Haha. I am off to sleep now. Maybe that's what I need. You can follow me on twitter cause I've been actively tweeting now ( http://twitter.com/jjoyceang ) xoxo. ♥

very unproductive day!

Today, I was supposed to have three classes. And so Rob picked me up and brought me to school. We chilled for a while at Castro with Carlo where they smoked and I stood there dying of envy. Hoho. :)) After a while, they needed to head to their school and I had to come inside Andrew already. After lining up for what feels like forever in the elev, I was able to get to 17th. Sotelo was there and told me we don't have INTSOCI class and that our prof for our last class is sick! I was like "Ay! Isa lang class ko, TRED! :( " I didn't believe him about having no class for INTSOCI so I checked my planner and saw that today, TRED is free cut! Wow! No classes at all! Not a single one! :( huhu. So, we went down to Andrew lobby na. There han saw us and she came all the way from Trece Martires, Cavite to be slapped by no classes. haha. Sayang pamasahe at outfit! :) So we decided to eat nlang. But I just ate so tin and meg ate at a Korean/Japanese resto in UM. We stayed there for a while. Jason and Mel was also with us. Pao came a little later. We were just talking and laughing and teasing each other. After that, boring tambay in one of the classrooms in Andrew and we Han, Tin & I ate at Mcdo Quirino. I missed Mcdo since it has been renovated.

After that, uy! I had an accomplishment din pala today! I almost forgot I went to Philhealth office in Quirino after my Mcdo date with han and tin. It was 4pm and cutoff time already. But since I didn't wanna come back tomorrow, I told the guard that I was there earlier and I just had to photocopy my birth certificate and ID. Hoho. Good thing I had with me the paper they gave me when I inquired a week ago. He let me in and I had to wait not really long for the processing but for the paying! Grabe yung cashier! Ang tagal! But it was okay cause I get to take home my Philhealth ID today! :) No time wasted. :)

I'm just thankful

It has been very hard for me to function for the last month or so. But today, I realized that it is finally going away!! Yehey! :) I have not wasted money on food for two days already! :) yeeey. I can actually digest now what I eat and not let the sink do the digesting for me. How happy am I? :) Not really that happy but at least some things have been working out. Rob and I are having our ups and downs lately and it's hard for me especially with my condition. But life's gotta go on and there are things to be done. God has plans and prayers always work. :) I'll just entrust everything to Him. :) a lot more 'bumps' ahead. :) hoho.

On another note, I was so pissed last Wednesday for something so terrible that happened. Haay naku. I don't want to make prejudices especially because these people have been really nice to me. But please girls, if you know that a person is already taken, please don't pose beside them on a picture. Insist on having another person with you there so that it becomes a group picture. You don't know what you could possible ruin (or kill). So, please have some decency to pose not too close and not just the two of you. You could be ruining a lot, for all you know.

the wednesday that passed

In my previous post, I mentioned about a "hopefully good news". Surprise! It was indeed a good news. :) No need for me to panic cause I won't be in an operating room soon. :) Everything is normal and the pelvic pain that I have been complaining about is due to a very very normal 3cm cyst in my right ovary. It might go away soon. I hope it will. The pain even subsided already. It's not as painful as it was. So I'm guessing it is doing it's job of going away. haha. Thank you for your prayers. We love our baby turtle. And you will get to meet turtle soon! :) That I promise!! Ü

expect the unexpected.

I've been away for awhile cause I've been secretly saving the world. Nah! My world have been a total havoc since I found out a little secret that would shake my world. A lot has happened. My paternal grandmother died last June 15 and it was heartbreaking for us cause she's been up and about until a week before she passed away. It was hypertension stage II that took away her precious life.

Aside from that, my body hasn't been cooperating lately. :( I've been feeling really sick. I've been losing focus in my school works since my grandma died and I wasn't able to catch up yet. Rob & I have been sort of in a chaotic mood. I pray that we'll get through all of these. Oh well. I need to refocus and also pray a lot. I have some (hopefully great) news on wednesday! pray for me! :) ♥ LOVE LOVE!