Apparently, I still have a heart.

For me to grow, I must take responsibility for my actions.

It's easy for people to be relentlessly apathetic to others. People like me, who misbehaved and took away something that isn't mine in the first place, are bearing the guilt of doing so. This random post is to let out all the things that has been breaking my heart. It breaks my heart to know that a lot of things have been shattered for my selfish desires to be fulfilled. I am saddened that bridges have been burned, people have been hurt, friendships tainted, sisterhood forgotten and this is all because of me and my unstable heart.  I wanted to apologize to the hearts I've hurt. I know that's a lot. :( I'm sorry. :| Don't think that my guilt never haunts me. Apparently, I still have a heart.

Day 09 | My beliefs and philosophies

There's more to the truth than just the facts.

~Author Unknown

First and foremost, all these things are just me, okay? I don't want any trouble with anyone. Your beliefs are yours and I respect that. So, would it kill you to just do the same for me? :) Well, this is quite serious. I would love to just type or better yet copy and paste The Apostles' Creed to make this much easier for me. lol. Well, I was born, baptized and raised as a Catholic. Although my immediate family isn't that religious, my relatives are quite involved in church and a religious org DEO (Divine Endeavors Organization), which I am a member as well. So, I pretty much have grown to know the importance of praying. I don't necessarily go to church every Sunday even though I made that as a new year's resolution. I just pray whenever I feel like it. It doesn't need to be in a sacred place, anywhere would be fine. God listens. That's the point. I'm sorry but I believe in heaven, hell and limbo. It's scary. I know!! And that's the scary part, me being scared because I believe they do exist. Am I making any sense? lol. I believe that all good things are rewarded, maybe not in this lifetime but on the life after death. My mind is now painted with my vision of heaven with rainbows, endless trees and grass and people smiling and laughing. I know that God exists and He is just a prayer away. Although not all of our prayers are answered, I know that God only has the best of interest and that whatever that he is planning is waaaaayyy better than mine. I have seen God's works in my life and I must say that I'm quite amazed and grateful as well. So, if there's something you really want but it seems that God isn't giving it to you, just wait. maybe there's something else for you. It may not make sense right now but it will. It will perfectly make sense in time. :)

Day 07 | Friends

Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
-Elbert Hubbard

I love my friends! :) They are an extension of my family. No matter how far we are or how long it has been since the last time we talked or has seen each other, they will always give me that sense of comfort! :) I have them not only through the happy days but also through the not-so-happy days. :) They know who they are. I love my friends! :)

me and my bes.

I love all of you guys! 

Day 06 | If this was my last day..

Go for it now.  The future is promised to no one.  ~Wayne Dyer

If this was my last day, I would wake up early, have breakfast with my family and Rob. After that, we'll go out of town (the nearest and less time consuming cause time is of the essence). There, we'll have lots of fun and we'll eat lunch and spend the afternoon just talking and sharing. I would apologize for everything I've done wrong and probably cry. We'll go home late afternoon and have dinner at home and then I'll sleep in peace. That or I'll be waking up so late and cry my eyes out thinking "Oh God please don't take me away from them." I probably won't eat and just cry the entire time. :| haha.

This made me think that indeed life is short and not all of us will have the opportunity to make things right. So we might as well do it now cause there is no assurance of tomorrow. :)

Day 05 | What is love

True love is not being with someone because you think you can be happy with that person, but because without that person you know you can never be.

Because love is complex and undefined, I would have to apologize beforehand for the lack of continuity in the text that would follow.

Love is so abstract and so undefinable (if there's such a word) that people are often confused on how to identify it. I am no expert at this and I have been crashed and burned a lot of times but I am going to define love the way I understand it. For me, love isn't always that feeling of butterflies in your stomach. As what Julie Andrew once said, " All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time". Ideally, we want love to be at it's best but we can never stray from the fact that love has it's challenges and hardships and confusion ( not necessarily on the feelings but could be on the situation or the decision to fight for it). And that's what makes love strong, right? People who have gone through the hardest & the toughest trials are those who are the strongest. I think that's the whole essence of love - being able to surpass challenges with the one you love. People are not always happily in love. But if they truly love the other person, even if she hates the way he snores, she would still want to lie in bed at night with him and fall into slumber. Love is complex. You hate the other person's mannerism yet you still want to stay and grow old with him/her. I guess that's it. Love is wanting to grow old with someone even though life promises to be hard. ♥

Am I a Miss Philippines-Earth candidate too?

I have stumbled upon a newspaper last night (The Philippine Star) and was surprised that the candidates of Miss Philippines-Earth 2011 have the same swim suit as mine. It was funny because it really really looked the same. The candidates just wore it in varied styles (which can be done as well in mine). I brought mine in Greenhills in a stall called The Pink Belter. I don't know if I'll feel good about it or feel ... well, obviously, they got more "meat" to fill those cups. lol.

Here's the candidates for Miss Philippines-Earth..

The 2011 Miss Philippines Earth Candidates!

And here I am...

That's me. Doesn't look like a candidate! 

Well, I'm sorry about my tummy.You shouldn't see that. lol.

Day 04 | What kind of food do I cook

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Cooking has been my enemy for years. I despise cooking because of all the heat and the mess and the effort that I have to commit. I'd rather wait by the table (or mostly, by the TV) and wait for the food to be served. But recently, Rob has talked me into trying out cooking. Before, i could only cook noodles. And most of the time, they turn out either overcooked or undercooked , never just right. The first REAL food that I cooked is "FRIED RICE". With Rob's assistance, the fried rice turned out great! IT TASTED GREAT! :) I've been doing it over and over since. 

My very own fried rice

Bacon that goes with fried rice!

Rob obviously enjoyed his food. 

The second and so far, last thing that I've tried cooking is a CALAMARES (fried squid). My mom wasn't around and I wanted to have a decent dinner. So I thought of something I could cook. It was Easter Sunday and I thought it's just appropriate to have seafood. So I googled the recipe for Calamares and went to the market. My mom came just in time to tell me that I have put too much calamansi in the squid and so I washed it again. The first batch was bland and my mom had to fix it. And oh! Another mishap is that I sliced the squid too small so it turned out like this.. But it did taste good. I kid you not. 

Calamares/Calamari

These are so far the kinds of foods which I can cook!