how it all happened

Consummatum Est
(it has been done)


OUR BABY IS HERE!!!

How did it all happen? It's just the 34th week. Due date is February 10, 2012, right?

January 6-7, 2012

Rob came to my house after his classes. It was unusual since he wouldn't really go to my place on Fridays. He told me he'd sleep there that night.

It was fine. And we hung around for the night.

At 11:20pm, my tummy started aching. I've been having false labors so I was thinking that was another one. The pain kept coming back every 5 minutes.

We were worried cause consistency means it might be the real deal. 

At around 2am, the pain was intense and the interval became every 3 minutes. :| 

Rob said we should go to the hospital. 

I was having labor pains but I don't want to look pale or dead so I wore make up.

Rob was irritated that I had the time to put make up on such an emergency.

He grabbed my bag which was prepared beforehand and then literally stuffed it with all the other things we thought we needed just in case I was really about to give birth.

We were accompanied by our friend, Joseph, to the hospital. Thank you, seph! :)

Inside the cab, I was contracting like mad.

On Rob's version of the story, he said that I was screaming.

Let me clarify that I WAS NOT SCREAMING!! Not like the kind that we see in movies and tv shows. I was in pain but I was not hysterical. 

When we arrived at the hospital, I can barely even walk because of the pain.

We rushed inside the emergency room and waited for my ob-gyne to arrive cause we already called her earlier. 

The contractions were not stopping anymore and it was so painful.

I mean REALLY, REALLY PAINFUL.

My ob-gyne arrived, checked my cervix and told me that yes, I am about 8cm and about to give birth. I changed and was rushed to the delivery room. No need for labor room cause I am almost done with the labor. lol.

Inside the DR, I was panicking like shit. All the doctors and nurses kept telling me to relax cause it's adding tension to my contracting uterus. 

But I couldn't. I really couldn't. They had to inject something to make me relax and it worked like seconds after it was injected. Wonderful. Maybe I could use that when I'm really really mad. lol

But it didn't exactly end there. 

We had to wait for my cervix to "give in". My right cervix already did but the left wouldn't. So we had to wait.. 

While waiting...

the doctors were chit chatting, I was listening and waiting for the next hit of painful contraction.

Trust me when I say that when it did, I wish I could chop my entire abdomen and back off. 

They were really fond of me cause I was wearing make up. 

Even asked what mascara I'm wearing. :) 

We were also waiting for my water bag to break but it wouldn't so my ob-gyne had to pinch(?) it. I had no idea what she did and next thing I know, I'm hearing water splashing. 

She told me that after that, the contractions would be much more painful. 

And SHE WASN'T LYING!! THE CONTRACTIONS WERE HELL!!

This time around, I WAS SCREAMING, CRYING, BEGGING them to take the pain away. 

I was asking for an epidural but it was too late already. 

I was in DEEP PAIN. REALLY. 

Amidst the begging, crying, screaming, they told me to just push it out.

Not to scream. 

I stopped.

Not to push with my voice.

I stopped.

And when I did, she slipped out of my.. well, you know. It was a normal delivery.

I was sedated. But it took effect after I delivered my baby.

Last thing I remember was telling them I want to see my baby.

They did bring the baby to me but I was too groggy to remember.

But hey! We have a picture and I'm so gorgeous. hahaha.

\

SEE?? WITH THE EYELINER AND EVERYTHING! :)))

I woke up at around 7am, alone and still groggy. 

I called out to the nurse or whoever passes by but I would wake up and realize that I had passed out. HAHAHA. It happened several times until 9am.

My stitches were checked and finally I could be brought to my room. 

Rob was waiting there and we chit chatted for a while.

But then the effect of the meds were still there and all I did was....

Some friends came later that afternoon and night. 

Thank you friends!! ♥

My mom also came that afternoon but couldn't stay for the night.

Rob told me that the baby can't be brought to the room cause she is still being exposed to light. (Since she is born prematurely, she didn't have lines on her palms.)

So it was Rob and me all night and we were bored.. 

So I cleaned his face.. Lucky bastard! He should be cleaning mine!! haha

This is our baby in the nursery!! 

This is us on the way home..

Countless sleepless nights and sleep-filled days, nappy changes, painful breastfeeding, healing wounds and stitches, soup-filled diets later...

A week after that fateful day is our anniversary! *applause*

January 13-14, 2012

Rob came again on a Friday night but our Kuya Jieshua is not well. Good thing Jielaena is a really good girl. And she needed minimal tending.

Rob slept over. But we didn't have enough sleep cause we kept checking Jieshua's temperature and took care of him. 

The only time we had a straight sleep was from 7am-8:45am.

After that, we needed to get up and prepare cause I have an appointment with my ob-gyne and Jieshua has to be brought to the doctor. 

I feel so thin and light just a week after giving birth.

My only problem is my tummy which looks like housing baby fats.

I can remove this! haha.

Anyway, all is well with me and my reproductive system. 

After the check up, I needed to eat so..

We headed home cause I shouldn't be gallivanting plus the kids needed us. 

So, our anniversary day turned out to be a day for the family.

That's us after getting some zzzzz's all afternoon.

Some l♥ve time. :*

Dear Rob,

I know that I'm not exactly a good girl and I have flaws, a lot actually. I know that the past year has been tough for us. And I wasn't there to make it any easier. I'm sorry that you had to deal with my childish acts and immature decisions. But I'm happy that you did stick through it all and made me see what I ought to see.You have made me the person I am today. I changed in a lot of ways because of you, mostly positive. I was bad and always ready to pick a fight, not just with you but with anybody else who deserves it but you changed that. You tamed whatever was wild in me. I love you for making me feel that I deserve to be loved and cared for and that I am worthy of the things that I have and I want. You are a great person. I am so lucky to have you as my man, my friend, my best friend, my confidant, my protector, my comforter, my fiance. You will always have my heart. This year is going to be so great. The new chapter of our lives has begun and I swear to stick by your side and be your greatest supporter and lover. I love you so much. Here's to spending forever and ever with you. :*

Love, 
Jhay

david beckham for h&m

Perfect for Rob! hahahaah

♡

   


www.bureauofcommunication.com

some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money...

Truth is... some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money..

I know that my blog isn't famous or what and I don't care. I just want to write whatever I want, whenever I want. That's why it is called MY blog. 

So, I don't get why some people still gives so much attention to point out negative stuffs about my blog. 

Please make yourself your own blog or better yet, get a life! You, bitch.

I want to make ONE clear point so that you can shut your piehole and we can both move on.

This is my blog.

I don't get why you are so jealous that I have the nerve to write about stuffs..

I could write whatever I want. I could write about gorillas, for all you care. That is entirely none of your fucking business. :)

I don't care if you start your own blog. ooh wait. You did start your own.... but it's insanely dry and empty.

You must have thought of abandoning it the moment you finished signing up because you realized that you are intellectually incompetent to come up with anything to write.

Well, Fuck you.

You are alone and lonely. That two doesn't necessarily always go together. There are people who are alone but completely happy. But in your case, *scoffs*.

If you are so happy, then why the hell do you have the time to see what's wrong with me and even tell it to your "friends" ? 

You are pathetic. Just pathetic. 

I'm not rich. I don't even have a camera phone as of the moment cause I don't have the money to buy a new one since my blackberry died. 

But I am insanely happy and secured. I am perfectly in love with life, my family, my boyfriend and my children. How about you? 

One piece of advice:

Go buy your happiness and mind your own business. :)

Happy New Year, bitch. ♥

year end post.. bow!

I was thinking of blogging last night but I felt sleepy and so I dozed off. =)

The year 2011 was eventful, memorable and heartbreaking at some points.

Last NYE, Jieshua got into an accident that left his chin scarred up until now. (and forever, I think.)

I got pregnant this year although I'm not quite sure if it's May or June.
Rob and I were shaken by the unexpected pregnancy. Of course! Who wouldn't be?
But we're now very happy about it. Yay! :) *squeal!*

We lost our paternal grandmother last June. It was so sad and our family mourns for the loss until now. :(

Jieshua also first set his foot in school this year. The kid is so hyper his teacher complains! HAHA. :)) Here's how his first day went.

Academics were manageable for me, Thank GOD! :)

Finished my practicum!! Thank GOD, again!! and also thank you to my Practicum supervisor, cooperating teacher, friends and my thesis partner, Kristine!! :)

This year, I actually started actively blogging again! Yey!

Aaaand... Rob and I had a really rollercoaster year of ups and downs.

As the new year approach, people make fuss about kicking old bad habits and getting good new ones.

Come on! I've been there. It's easier said than done!! The most common new year's resolution is maybe lose weight. FUCK THAT! With food that entice you to eat like a dinosaur, how could you lose weight, right?

I plan on not having a new year's resolution cause I cannat keep up with it and I end up disappointed and thinks of myself as a failure for not religiously doing the NYR.

Enough of that.

Last night, aunt and cousin, Kuya Larky visited and invited us to spend NYE at their house. I really wanted to come but my mama and papa wanted to stay so I stayed.

Anyway, after all the chit chat and catching up, I realized that family will always love you and will always be there for you.

They could have strangled me to death by being pregnant again. And in the most unlikely time - just before my graduation. But they did not. Whew! What they did is show their concern and support for me.

How I love my family! I miss the old times when we used to go to our grandparents' house and spend Christmas Day and New Year's Day with each other. All of us. :|


Last night was also a good time to be emo. No, I did not slash my wrist whatsoever. Veins are still intact.

Don't you just fear the future?

That's how I felt last night. The future is so uncertain and that uncertainty brings fear that you can never suffice. or ... or.. that you can never live up to the expectation.. Worst of all, I have two babies relying unto me., totally my responsibility and what they become is because that's what I made them.

And if you have that kind of power, wouldn't you be fearful that you might just be not doing the right thing?


I don't want to dwell on those kinds of feelings. It was good that I felt that just before 2012 started.

I felt it, acknowledged it, then moved on. 

EYES ON THE GOAL!!!!


We should learn to keep going for the gold..

The future is uncertain. But maybe, that's the beauty of it. Not knowing where you'll end up means chances for you to change it and make things happen.

This 2012, let's all be happy and set our eyes on the goal. Do not be distracted. Have faith! :)

1 Corinthians 13:13

Three things will last forever -- faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is LOVE. ♡

Happy New Year, everyone! ☺

Get well soon baby.

Last night, Jieshua vomited after dinner. We were thinking that he just ate too much and that the orange juice and chocolate drink didn't mix well in his tummy. 

At around 4:30am, when I was about to sleep, I embraced him and noticed that he was feverish. I called my mom and affirmative! He indeed have fever.

So, we woke him up so he could take medicine.

After that, he couldn't sleep and complains about feeling nauseous.

And he did THROW UP!!! A COUPLE OF TIMES ACTUALLY!

POOR BABY. :(( 

After that, he played with his remote control car while mom and I rest sleep in bed.

When I glanced at Jieshua, he was sleeping on the floor. :(( Aww. my poor baby. 

They went to the doctor early morning and I cannot go along because I am still advised to be confined to the glorious bed. 

Anyway, the doctor said he had a hard time digesting the food he ate and that his phlegm didn't help. So, he would take antibiotics for that.

We slept all afternoon. Ahhhh. So great!

This is his "I'm not feeling well face".. LOL

Thank you Mc Donald's for such nomnom fries.

Le me wake up face. noooooo!!!

Calling daddy!! :)

WARFACE!!!!

He opted to play laptop cause he cannot go out. 

And we found our walkie talkiessss!! Yay!!

goodbye clothes

Rob came today with breakfast for me. *yehey*
Liemsilog, Orange Juice and a few sweet Kropeck. My favorite!! :) I wasn;t able to take pictures of it because I was too caught up in the moment and immediately and selfishly consumed them.

Rob acted fast too!

While I was busy eating my breakfast in bed, he was unearthing all my clothes from my closet into my bed.

He was telling ordering me to get rid of the clothes I do not wear anymore cause 1. my closet is throwing up and once you open it, effort is needed to close it again and 2. so that I can "feel" the need to replenish my clothes with new and more of-age clothes. (meaning: get rid of your shirts and start wearing nicer clothes.)

I let him do his thing by picking my clothes one by one and asking me whether we should put it in the plastic (donation bag) or back in my closet. He wins anyway. *argh*

We got into a fight pa because of some clothes I didn't wanna give up. huhu.

Eventually, we finished clearing up my stuffs

and.....


taddaah! :)

Here's what's supposed to be given out.

If you'd ask me, the picture doesn't do much justice on how much it really is!!! 

MY closet is suddenly empty. *gasp*

For reference of how tall the pile of clothes are left, see the bottle of perfume! 

You must be thinking, "This must be heartbreaking for her.."

YES!! It actually is.

But as the new year approaches, I have to have new habits to break and things to let go. :)

I was lucky he let me keep some of the shirts. THE ONES FROM LASALLE, ATENEO and the ones I swore I'd cut and give a new look! 

The lucky ones left of the shorts and skirts (and jumpers too!!).

Oh well. I'm sure that the clothes I gave out will go to those who need them.